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The Pros and Cons of Social Media For a Teenager

With the rise of smartphones that are out there now and the advancement of technology, we are greeted with a plethora of apps to enhance the connectivity we have with one another. But with this rise of connectivity via a screen, in the long run, does it help or hurt the user? Recent data has surfaced that though we are more connected than ever before, we are actually more alone than ever before too.

My wife Alyssa and I do not have any teenagers yet but our daughter is approaching that age quickly. Today she even asked if she could create Youtube videos! I am excited about her creativity and ambition, but I am nervous too. What are the pros and cons of social media for a teenager? As a parent, we need to think about the use of social media and the effect it as on us before we are so quick to answer with a yes or no.

Pro #1- Connectivity

“The world is flat” as David Friedman declared in his book of the history of the 21st century. He was using this statement to show that we are more connected with the world than ever before. We can communicate instantaneously with others around the world. This is amazing instead of waiting for a letter which takes days, weeks, and even months; we wait seconds.

Teenagers today can communicate with family and friends who live in other states and even different countries. They can see pictures of those loved ones, comment on them, and share their own pictures with others.

Pro #2- Awareness

Not only can we connect with the world faster than ever we also receive news faster than ever before. The major news conglomerates now utilize social media as the main source of reporting news. The news is not only produced quickly but is rapidly being shared. We can know more of what is going on around the world than ever before, faster than ever before.

One can easily see a live car chase happening by just going on Facebook rather than turning on the T.V. and trying finding the right news channel covering it. We can hear the news to be more aware of what is going on and be more mindful of others because of this awareness.

Pro #3- God Glorifying

With all the technological advances that has happened throughout history such as the roads that Romans built, the printing press, and now the internet there is so much potential to share the Gospel with the world with whom we are connected with.

We can and should use technology for the sake of God’s glory. I have written in the past about how we can do this here. The believer uses the tools at his disposal to share the Gospel and point to God’s glory. A post can be used to share an encouraging Bible verse or share the Gospel.

These are a few of the pro’s but what about the con’s?

Con #1- False Reality

The danger with social media is the idea of what you see is the reality. The truth is most of social media is a partial reality or an enhanced reality. The user can manipulate what others see. I would suggest girls would struggle with this more than boys. The images that are being portrayed is not real but enhanced by filters.

When image is already a sensitive subject for teenagers, social media can pour gas on the fire of comparison. The danger of coveting comes into the heart. What you see is not what you get, but an enhanced version. One may be tempted to compare to that reality and then look at their own life in despair and discontentment.

Con #2- FOMO

FOMO (Fear of missing out) is a real thing that has been studied because of the rise of social media. I have written a little more extensively on FOMO.

Because of the connectivity and the awareness that social media offers there is also the fear of missing out on something. This can be when one was invited to something but unable to attend because of other obligations so they miss out. There is also the fear of missing out because one was just not invited. This is when you feel left out or not part of the group. You missed out!

There was still the fear of missing out before social media existed, it can not be used intentionally or unintentionally to celebrate what was one part of and bragged about what you missed out on. Social media has now magnified this as we can see the highlight reel of everyone’s life.

Con #3- Loneliness

Though we are more connected than ever before research has shown that we are also more lonely than ever before. Giles Slade shares in his book The Big Disconnect: The Story of Technology and Loneliness, that with the rise of different technological advances that make life easier, we have not moved away from personal connectivity. Talking in person is less and less while screen communication is expected more.

With the rise of social media there is an interesting link between the rise of depression among teenagers. Jean Twenge, author if iGen offers a correlation with the rise of social media there is a rise of depression and suicide. This rise has impacted boys but significantly girls. From 2011 is has grown rapidly where one out of every five girls reported symptoms of a major depressive episode.

Con #4- Danger

There is also the danger of pedophiles and cyberbullying. Teenagers who can be suspectible to these predators online. That is why it is important for parents need to be involved in their teenagers social media lives.

The rise of cyberbullying is a serious threat. The autonomy of being able to hide behind a screen and yet threaten someone without any regard is disturbing. These are realities that come with social media.

The Bigger Picture

Before we storm into the rooms of every teenager and delete their accounts it is important for parents to teach through this. There is a proper balance where we protect children from danger and malicious behavior but we also want to teach children how to handle these con’s to social media.

The best way to teach a teenager in response to all of this would be to remind them and show them that a believer’s identity is founded in Christ (Gal. 2:20; Eph. 2; 1 Peter 2:9). Remind them that a Christian’s worth and purpose is defined by Jesus and not by us or others. This reassures them that they do not need to compare nor worry about missing out. Yes, that happens but how do we respond when those moments occur? We run to the Lord!

A parent is a disciples their children. The best way to help our children who are growing up with screens as part of life is to teach them how to handle them safely, mindfully, and God glorifying. Again, be involved, have those conversations, have access to their accounts, be their friend on their account to monitor.

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How to Raise Children in the Fear of Lord

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Photo by Diana Feil on Unsplash

What do you fear? For some, it may be snakes, spiders, or clowns. Others, it is speaking publicly to being stuck in a small space. We usually associate the word “fear” in a negative sense. We encourage people to face their fears and to be courageous. As Christians we may even say “Fear is a liar.” But, is there a healthy fear that one should have and what does the Bible say about this?
I was reading a passage from the Bible to my children. I knew they would ask me a particular question. I was waiting and ready for them as I saw the wheels in their heads spin and try to process what it means. The part of the Bible I read was from Deuteronomy 6 where Moses is given a reminder to the new generation of Israelites before they enter the Promised Land. The word “careful” or “carefully” appears several times in Deuteronomy because Moses wants these new Jews to live in light of all that God has commanded to be mindful of how they pass that information on.
Deuteronomy 6 begins with, “Now this is the commandment-the statues and the rules- that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long (Deuteronomy 6:1-3 ESV).  I stopped after just three verses and I can tell that one phrase caught their attention. My oldest asked, “Why do you want to fear the Lord?
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Having a Parenting Conference? 5 Things I Learned from having one.

This past weekend, a goal of mine was accomplished by being able to have a parenting conference for our church. It took years of thinking and praying and wrong times to finally pick a date and stick to it. Here is what I learned through the process that could maybe help those out there that are planning on doing something similar at their church.

Child-care is important!

I knew the audience was parents and many who signed up for the conference had younger children who were unable to watch themselves.  We knew planning this that child care was important but let me tell you, it was hard to get volunteers for it!
It was hard to find adults who were either not parents themselves who could benefit from the conference or were willing to miss it.
Continue reading “Having a Parenting Conference? 5 Things I Learned from having one.”

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Leaving the Right Legacy

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Every parent thinks about what their children will become. When they grow up, will they be successful? Will they make it? Will they be well off? We think of the types of investments we would deposit into their lives, like their education, training, extracurricular activities, etc. The truth is every parent, whether good or bad, makes these legacy choices. The ones mentioned above are not bad, but they are not the most important.
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How Should a Parent Approach Halloween?

There is no ignoring Halloween. It is everywhere you go; from the store to your neighbor’s house, some form of decoration is pointing to Halloween. It is one of the most marketed days of the year. There are many arguments to how a Christian should view Halloween. Should we fight against it, ignore it, or should we embrace it? I don’t know if the answer is that simple. You can’t just overlook the fact that there are some demonic sides to Halloween; it is pretty blatant. There are arguments about the evil background and history of Halloween. On the other side is that the starting of Halloween was “All Saints Day” to remember the martyrs who have been killed for their faith and then through history this holiday merged with heathen practices.

As a parent you can research the history of Halloween, but ultimately there needs to be wisdom because each parent stands with their conscience before God in how they view Halloween.
Here are a few thoughts on a parent’s approach to Halloween.
1) Be cautious and wise.
There are some parents who don’t have a problem with their children participating in Halloween and they exercise wisdom and discernment. For example, they allow their children to wear a fun, innocent costume. They don’t see candy as something bad (just in moderation).
As a parent who allows their children to participate, you want to use wisdom by not letting your children be around something evil or scary so you pick which house is good to go to and which houses are not. We do live in a day and age when you need to be careful of strangers and you also know that you are called to protect your children.
Some parents may choose to participate in other ways. For example, they may bring their children to a church-run event such as the Harvest Fest. This limits what their children will be around and with whom. There are many places that are safe for kids to have fun, dress up, and have some candy.
There may be some parents who do not want their children participating in something that they view is spiritually compromising. I respect the family that makes a stand that their children are not participating in Halloween activities. A parent that takes this stand needs to communicate with their children about why they are making that stand, knowing that they will have questions from other people.
2) Teach your children.
Everything is a teaching moment. Though Halloween may have some superstitious backgrounds, as a parent you are not approaching Halloween that way. There is nothing inherently evil with dressing up for fun or eating candy. If you have toddlers this may happen every day (maybe not the candy part)! What matters is our approach as parents. Teach them that we follow the Word of God, that there are evil spirits and the devil, and he is not more active on Halloween than any other day of the year. What a great reminder for us to know that Jesus Christ is greater in us than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4). Jesus is King and Lord and He has dominion and power over evil.
3) It is a day that you can use to witness to people who come knocking on your door.
You can choose to turn the lights off at your house or you can look at giving candy and talking to parents of kids as an opportunity. This is a great opportunity that you can use and be a light during a dark time. You can pass out witnessing tracts and candy. You can be friendly and start conversations with other parents.
On a day that points to death and despair, we have the gospel message of eternal life and hope. We should look at this as a perfect opportunity to share Jesus Christ with others!
Personal Note: I understand that not everyone will do what we do, nor do I expect that, but you may be curious how my family approaches Halloween.
We allow our children to dress up in something fun and innocent. We, in past years, have dressed up as a whole family. We communicate to our children that they can dress up and have candy. We invite family and friends as we go to Harvest for the Harvest Fest, where they have a great time, hear the gospel, and meet with the church family. We then spend some time in our neighborhood as I want us to use the opportunity to meet our neighbors and be somewhat present to them. I try to encourage our children that we can have fun but there are also dark and scary things about Halloween—but they are of God and have overcome those things, for “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4 NKJV).

Continue reading “How Should a Parent Approach Halloween?”